Riddle

I was just wondering how many people think about things that I always think everyday .

(well, yeah pretty rhetoric)

This afternoon, I drank many cups of coffee with a good friend and talked about Life.

Yeah, Life .

Pretty ironic and naive, see that we are just a mere human who got nothing (yet).

Is it wrong if we wanna talk about The World, in our perspective?

Call me a cynical, or narrow-minded, because my thoughts are rarely the same with the others.

Most girls in my age, often talk about marriage, kids, lovers.

Whilst, on my mind, I am worried about  Russian Jet that was downed by Turkish air force (25 November 2015, fact).

Girls love reading romances, with happy endings.

And I am consumed with Camus, Orwell, and Sartre and their poignant views. Maybe I have read too much information, and I still feel like a fool.

As my good friend, Tegar, said "the more you read, the more you suffer"

In another world, Girls love posting their pics with their lovers, with blabbering captions, wise words made by them or stole it from Google yet I only post pictures about stray cats.

I am afraid of World War III.

I am scared that most people are controlled by media.

I gave up when I knew about the fact that we cannot live on Mars.

Some said that I am too complicated. I think too much, too far.

And I hate reading bad comments and shallow views of people who think they know everything.

All my discussions with best friends mostly end up with questioning ourselves, "what are we talking about? are we aliens? are we normal?"

And I realize that, It is not you. It is me.

and I asked myself, "what is being normal anyway?"

Is it that to live a life like most of people do: being born, study, work, married, kids, being rich?

Or being one step richer , or smarter, or more "sophisticated" among your friends?

Is it too cliche if I say, "I wanna change the world, I wanna change my nation"

On the other hand, I am still stupid, lazy, don't have lots of money yet.

Maybe, that's why,  I have been thinking that I am gonna change myself first , will start from little things.

I am gonna be more on time.

I will not litter on road.

I will be a good listener, don't give unnecessary suggestion  before the speaker asks about it.

I will phone my parents more often.

I will start wake up in early morning again, like I did before (hmm.. even on weekends *crossfinger)

I will learn cooking, even that is not my thing.

I will help people without thinking for returns, even just their smiles.

and what else... (I am still thinking about it).

Perhaps, I am weird, I don't know how weird I am, 

Then I can only assume that each person has their own uniqueness. And who are you to judge?

well, even you, can't judge me too :)

Sometimes, I feel that not many people could understand me.

It feels like I speak riddles and rhymes only few people know.

If I am honest about everything, I am afraid that they would think that I am insane, and as an ordinary human, I am frightened of rejection and humiliation, and being insulted could hurt my feelings, too.

Well, I do apologize if I am being sensitive tonight.

I blame the coffee.