The Interpretation of Being Aloof

Hiya Love, I mean, Hiya Folks!

It's been almost a year I haven't written anything in my blog. I miss random writing, as I miss non-random writing, too. Believe me, I have been collecting motivation to write both academically and commercially. But, so far, it yields nothing.

I have been listing plenty of ideas, but what's the purpose of ideas? If you don't really have guts to make it work, thus, let's call it a beginning in a not so in the beginning of the year. It's April - May, and we know that in the northern hemisphere out there, the flowers are starting to blossom, the weather also starts to be friendly again (well, I reckon?).

As a matter of fact, I have just come back from my journey in Europe again, Le Voyage d'Hiver, for the second time. People often asked me, why do you come to our snowy hut instead of staying in your sommer maison in your homeland?

The more I step my feet to new places, the more I think of home. The meaning of home. What is home anyway? In these past years, I choose and try to learn also enjoy this lone time. Getting used to of being on my own, not that I don't need my close friends or family anymore. However, as an Extrovert, maybe I should try to challenge myself more and try to understand the meaning of being aloof.

Interpreting this aloofness.

Now that you should know, that I am not currently staying in my hometown anymore. I stayed in my hometown for couple of weeks, and started a new story in the city of culture. The thing that I never realize about this city is, it's very multicultural. I thought I got used to mingle and hang out with people from different countries and assumed that later when I mingle with my "own" folks would be easier. I was wrong, hopefully, I wasn't. Handling people from different backgrounds is quite "challenging" and "triggering". I have got a quite great position in this organization, and some people really test my capabilities. This is my pure sentiment and you can judge me anyway, but I feel that some people really dislike when somebody new comes and places in top position. Actually, I am trying to be a calm and kind leader, but some people really can trigger my benevolent side which I don't like it either. That's why, I prefer to be aloof. When I am aloof, everything can be well-digested. All this bad stereotypes and judgements which I have been trying to throw them away.

Good thing is...

I can value myself more, the more time I am being alone. I have got lots of time to study and sharpen my abilities, and realize how far I have grown. --- Some people are wrong about me, people change, I guess I know all about it. Managing and Handling students are way much easier than handling your own staff. Well, I am not working in a corporate but an organization that challenges my leadership a lot. I don't trust people easily, well, trusting people is my weakness. Many lesson that I have learnt made me realize that the one that you can trust and rely on is yourself. Is it okay being a lone wolf? is it okay being selfish? Yes, IT IS FINE. totally Fine. How can you blossom and develop if you don't trust your own guts? 

Learning how to love your own self.

After you learn how to trust yourself, now you can slowly learn how to love yourself. This sounds not so correctly, but this is pure of my personal opinion --- and of course after finishing The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. How will you be able to love someone if you are lack of love on your own? How can you transfer and retrieve the love itself when you got nothing to love about yourself. I think, love grows inside yours and when you think you are ready (and of course when you want it), you will slowly learn how to transfer the love within you: by treating your significant other (or just mere other people) with love.

So...

by being aloof, it teaches me how to love myself more. That I am my own priority. This also could be "the time when you discover your selfishness". You might criticize me, but this is my personal perspective, with my own capabilities as an Extrovert, in reserving this aloofness.

And.. Thank you.

just my imagination

Y'ello folks..

jumpa lagi dengan saya kembali, setelah berbulan-bulan kagak nulis (kayak tiap bulan nulis ajeee), akhirna inilah postingan pertama saya di bulan Januari. Kali ini saya gak akan cerita soal perjalanan travelling sih, itu nanti saya simpan dulu buat kapan-kapan. Saya pengen ngablak cerita gak jelas gegara kebanyakan nonton film lawas sama video klip lagu-lagu lawas. Hahaha...

Saya sering ngebayangin jadi model di video klip gitu, hahaha, terlambat sudah cita-cita saya pengen jadi model majalah Trubus,  tapi kalian-kalian disini pasti pernah kan secara sadar walaupun nggak, pas waktu jalan sendirian di tempat yang indah, ketemu cowok cakep, atau pas waktu hujan ngadep ke jendela, rasanya berasa kehidupan kita ini punya backsound. Hahaha

Bisa jadi, film yang bikin saya jadi baper sebaper-baperna itu film Before Sunrise. Banyak yang bilang film ini ngebosenin dan ngomong doank. EH TAPI, saya nonton film ini 2x, dan menurut saya ini film sweet dan romantis. Gimana coba kamu bisa ketemuan di kereta sama cowok seganteng Ethan Hawke dan diajak muter-muter Vienna dalam jangka waktu 24jam dengan diisi macem conversation yang absurd tapi menanyakan ke-eksistensian diri kamu. Ah ini film apaan sih, kan aing jadi pengen sama Ethan  Hawke  'kan?

Kadang-kadang kalau lihat film romance yang edisi cinta-cintaan ala SMA atau high schoolers gitu, saya jadi pengen, agak jealous soalna saya dulu pas SMA kok gak ngerasain kayak gitu yak. Saya ada beberapa pacar waktu SMA, tapi kok rasanya gak kayak yang di film-film macem begituan. Perasaan yah dulu cuma ngobrol, makan, main ke mall, udah hahaha. Mau ngulang ke masa SMA biar mirip film She's All That kok yah hampir ora mungkin. Yasudahlah mari kita lupakan masa-masa SMA saya yang sangat super duper biasa dan most of the time cuma diisi sama buku dan series Gossip Girl.

Sebagai perempuan biyasah, saya kadang ngayal pengen ketemuan sama cowok cakep di Coffee Shop terus berlanjut di perbincangan gak jelas tentang filosofi atau kapan Indonesia bisa jadi negara adidaya. Atau misal tiba-tiba ketemu cowok ganteng bercelana gemes di Northern Italy terus kita muter-muter naik sepeda pas Summer. Saya gak terbiasa nulis diary, dan agakna mungkin saya ada beberapa yang lupa soal sensasi ketemu orang baru yang berpotensi bisa dijadikan rujukan film romance. 

Mostly saya gak ingat, tapi kalau yg esensial banget saya biasanya gak lupa. Saya gak lupa gimana saya ketemu cowok sesama traveler di bus di Saigon dan kita bisa klik satu sama lain tapi lupa tukeran nomer hape. Saya gak bisa lupa gimana sensasinya waktu itu jalan di Kuala Lumpur sama temen sekelas saya yang ganteng dan pinter dan orangnya agak suka dicolak-colek hahah. I don't think that I would like to go further with them, tapi saya suka aja ngerasain tingling feeling yang ngebuat saya ngerasa seperti maen di sebuah film komedi romantis. Saya kadang ndengerin lagu romantis/happy/sedih/upbeat, kadang joget sendiri dan kadang cuma diem meresapi dan mbayangin hal-hal indah yang pernah saya lalui sama orang -orang yang saya kenal.

Saya kira semua cewek pasti punya soundtracks atau backsound ketika bertemu dengan orang-orang tertentu. Apalagi pas kita lagi ngerasain certain feeling dan kebetulan misalnya, dengerin lagunya Shania Twain atau Daniel Beddingfield, langsung nyeletuk, "Ajib, lagu ma lirikna gue banget nih!" hahaha. Saya gak akan pernah bisa lupa sama orang-orang yg ngasik kesan atau backsound atau soundtrack buat kehidupan saya. Kadang kalau pas saya lagi jalan di tempat baru, saya langsung spontan nyanyi sendiri sambil bayangin orang yang cocok sama lagu dan tempat yang saya nyanyiin tersebut. Contohna saya waktu itu jalan-jalan di Paris, saya langsung nyanyi 'City of Stars' dari LaLaLand dan agak-agak bayangin saya jadi Emma Stone haha *dikeplak orang sekampung*. Saya orangna sebenerna pemalu kalau dideketin sama cowok ganteng, apalagi pinter, apalagi diajak ngobrolin soal hal-hal absurd, widih bisa-bisa waktu pulang kerumah saya bisa dengerin Chopin sama nulis puisi. Atau pas lagi travelling sendirian, saya kalau capek jalan selalu mampir ke cafe,duduk, pesen kopi  terus nulis puisi atau brainstorm topik buat dijadikan cerpen. Kayakna saya emang cocok hidup di jaman-jaman abad ke 17 di Paris, bergaul sama Moliere, atau hidup di jaman-jaman taun 40an bergaul sama Orwell di Paris/Barcelona, hahaha. Also, I pick all the soundtracks for every person I have known. Harusnya di Spotify, saya bikin album kreasi pribadi berdasarkan nama-nama orang yang memberi kesan buat saya, hahaha. Sometimes, I created several poems for certain people, too. Dipikir-pikir, saya ini kok sensitif amat yak *sigh*

P.S. Tulisan ini dibuat sambil dengerin Piano Music For Coffee Shop dari youtube, and I know now, some people are better to be remained only in our memories :)

SERBA SERBI GAK PENTING DI POLANDIA

Y'ello folks!

because the days are getting colder dan bikin males ngapa-ngapain tiap pagi dan karena emang bisa ngapain kalo udah kebiasaan bangun jam 4 atau 5 pagi. This is my first autumn turns out to be winter soon in Europe, entah ini salah cuaca atau salah diriku sendiri yang selalu dan selalu, cuaca dan udara macem begini bisa bikin depressed gak jelas dan mellow ga karuan. Miapah coba baru seminggu disini aku udah bisa produktif bikin beberapa puisi mellow gak jelas. Kalau musim panas di Alaska bisa bikin AlPacino Insomnia dan jadi cranky gak jelas, cuaca macem begini yang entah kenapa selalu bikin hati yang sudah dingin ini menjadi hampa tak berasa *ecielah. Okelah kalau begitu, daripada bersedih dan malah ngoceh gak jelas, mari kita review beberapa produk yang saya temukan di Poland selama seminggu ini, dan menurut saya lumayan worthy buat di share.

1. MLEKO (SUSU KENTAL MANIS DALAM TUBE)

Nah, ini dia bukan odol bukan obat jerawat, hahah. Bentukna mirip odol tapi dalam bahasa polandia, Mleko adalah susu, yah sama kayak Melk/Milk/Milka/Au Lait, ini semacam susu kental manis begitu. Bisa diminum/dicucup begitu aja, tapi rasana eneg pol. Enakan kalo macam mirip ala orang Indon, kasik buat topping roti sama mentega, widih mantap jiwa. Paling enak menurut aku yang rasa vanilla. Tersedia dengan rasa caramel maupun coklat yang hmmm, better nggak deh, soalna manis banget dan saya nggak terlalu suka yang terlalu manis (apalagi janji manis *halah). Harganya kalo nggak salah sekitar 6zl atau 20rb an...

2. NESTLE  PRINCESSA (WAFER RASA COKLAT JERUK)

Waduh,, ini nih hayati suka banget. Macem mana hayati udah emang suka wafer dari macam model wafer superman yang biasa dijual di kantin sekolah lalu ketemu wafer model begini. Ini enak banget sodara-sodara.. dan hargana sekitar 1zl atau 3500an saja. Wafer na crunchy begitu dengan rasa coklat dan sedikit rasa asem asem jeruk yang menggoda. Widih, tapi entah kenapa baru makan satu aja udah bikin kenyang. Ini pas banget kamu bawa kalau lagi di kelas dan kelaperan pas ngerjain saat Examen. Entah kenapa namana Princessa, mungkin setelah makan ini kamu akan berasa seperti Princess (?)--- well, it didn't work on me. 

3. NATURIA OLIVE OIL SCRUB

Paling suka kalo jalan jalan ke luar negeri adalah bisa nemuin beberapa produk skin care/ body care dengan harga murah yang wangina tahan lama. Saya paling gak bisa mandi tanpa scrub, karena saya mandi na jarang jarang. Bisa dibayangkan kalo di Indon yang panas aja bisa mandi sekali sehari atau dua hari sekali pas weekend, bisa anda bayangkan akan jadi apa saya kalo pas winter begini ahahha. Paling suka pake scrub yang rasa buah buahan, sambil mandi sambil bengong sambil gosok gosok badan mikirin bagaimana kinerja pak Jokowi di Indonesia hahahha. Saya iseng cobain merk ini karena.. ini yang murah hahahah. Cuma 8zl, alias 27rb saja  sudah bisa bikin kulit kinclong, bersih dan halus mulus seperti bintang iklan. 

4. NATUReLIA BODY BUTTER ALOE VERA

Ini asli gak penting kenapa saya secara gak sadar beli body butter. Well, saya jarang jarang pake body butter atau body lotion karena males. Gak kayak dulu jaman agak muda-an dikit yang hobi gonta ganti body butter atau cobain body lotion berbagai merk. Sekarang mah barusan beli vaseline di Indomaret ukuran kecil bisa bertahan sampe setahun lebih. Pas cobain merk yang random ini, eh ternyata enak juja. Ini beli ukuran medium, gak tahu deh habisna kapan, mungkin biar cepet habis, bisa dibantu buat dicemilin?

5. ZOVIRAX INTENSIVE LIP CREAM

HAH! ALHAMDULILLAH BISA NEMUIN INI!

seriusan, I always have problem sama bibir kering. Beberapa minggu sebelum dateng ke Poland, ini bibir udah berdarah darah karena kering kena panas yang gak umum di Surabaya. Bibir jadi cracky, ngelupas, kering, dan duh gak karuan. Bahkan lip balm dari Burstbee udah gak ngatasin. Terus sama temen yang orang Polandia, disaranin suruh pake merk ini. Pas diolesin ternyata perih perih gitu tapi bibir jadi mendingan. Semingguan pake ini, bibir masih berasa kebas tapi udah lumayan jauh membaik 60%, dan udah mulai alus alus begitu. Entah sampe kapan yah pake ini, hahaha. Btw, ini bukan lip balm yah, tapi semacam salep gitu buat ngobatin bibir kering. Masih dipertanyakan apakah bibir kebas saya ini akibat salah cobain pakai lipstick atau karena udara yang panas/dingin gak jelas. But at least, buat temen temen yang ada di Europe dan punya problem sama bibir, at least ini bisa membantu. Harganya sekitar 15zl atau 50rb an...

Oke folks, segitu dulu serba serbi gak penting hasil hunting saya ke supermarket deket rumah di Polandia. hahaha, kalau ada saran produk yang harus saya cobain atau beli, monggo mari silakan tulis di komen. <3

Bali Influence avec The Monkeys (day 1)

Wah, ternyata sudah september aja yah! 

Gak kerasa banget udah hampir setahun lulus dari sekolah, mulai full time kerja walaupun kerjaan juga amburadul gak karuan tapi at least buat tahun ini kayaknya udah mulai lebih rajin buat ngatur jam tayang (macem mirip artis ajeeee...)

Kurang 3 bulan lagi udah masuk Desember dan masuk tahun 2018, lalu tetiba (dan udah kayaknya jadi kebiasaan) kepikiran, what have you done this year, Vera?

harus mulai di list satu satu, aku ngapain aja mulai januari awal sampe sekarang udah masuk september. hahahah jangan bilang gak ngapa-ngapain, I did plenty of things kok.

Pertama, I let go of my schedule yang di tempat di daerah Rungkut itu, karena eh karena jadwalnya bertabrakan dengan jadwal yang lain. Aku alesan minta cuti, eh ternyata aku dikira resign beneran, walhasil akhirnya memang harus di kick out dari group whatsapp kerjaan, which meant aku sudah tidak dianggap bekerja disitu HAHAHAHAH.

Februari dan Maret, kerja rodi seperti biasa, kemudian dilanjutkan dengan hampir sebulan penuh kerja rasa holiday di Thailand during April. Ninggalin kerjaan di Indo demi kerjaan yang bisa dibilang lehaleha tapi berbayar di Thailand, and I did spent half of my salary there. Sisa cuma 1200 Baht yang aku bawa pulang ke Indo dan gak aku tukerin sampe sekarang (semoga kurs na stabil dan gak urakan kalopun naik).

Mei dan Juni masuk bulan puasa dan literally I didn't want to do anything pas puasaan, mengapa? karena puasa itu waktunya buat relax dan ibadah, walopun kenyataannya juga gak berubah juga hahah masih sering gibah dan sholat bolong-bolong tapi paling gak aku usaha sebaik dan semaksimal mungkin *InshaAllah

July literally kerjaan mulai berkurang, udah masuk liburan anak-anak kuliahan, kerjaan lebih nyante, akhirna sabet sana sini cari project sampingan (maklum masih golongan kelas menengah ngehek, hahaha) nabung berhemat buat rekreasi ke Bali sama the monkeys. Agustus pergi ke Jogja nonton konser Babang Shane Filan... ugh I will tell you later about this one. <3

Selanjutna, akhirnya kita jadi ke Bali yay! It was our third trip together, setelah sebelumnya cuma mentok main ke taman safari, lalu ke Solo, lalu sekarang ke Bali (hey, ini adalah sebuah kemajuan yang signifikan sodara sodara). Kita udah jauh-jauh hari beli tiket lewat garuda travel fair dan dapet promo yang bisa dibilang cukup murah, 650k pp dan bisa dicicil ke mbak nobican hahaha (I really wanna tell you about lingkaran cicilan di dalam sebuah persahabatan, but I think nanti ini harus jadi cerita tersendiri,*kidding).

We four were so happy, kayak gak punya beban. Our Motto, "We eat cheap, travel in budget, love will make us stronger" (iyee emang kagak nyambung). Disana kita dapet motor sewaan gratis berkat usaha mbak Mbothe yang rajin dan giat bekerja di pelabuhan dan suka godain para sailor (and she probably always shouts, "hey, Sailor!"). Kita dijemput pake mobil kantor mbak Mbothe (dan disopirin salah satu Boss wkakakak) dari bandara dan dianter di hotel bintang dua di daerah sekitar Kuta.

Hotelnya bagus sih, menurut aku okelah yah, kamarnya luas, bersih, cuma gak ada amenitiesnya! hahaha gilak! mana aku sama Nobi sama sama gak bawa pasta gigi, yang akhirnya terpaksa kita beli di minimarket malam malam. Nobi sampe marah-marah ke frontdesk hotel lewat telpon gegara dia udah mau mandi dan gak bawa sabun, odol, sampo dan lain lain (she worked in a top star hotel, so she expected that she would have had amenities, but reality was...). Nyampe di hotel kita kelaperan tapi males banget keluar, akhirnya kita pesan nasi pedas via delivery... Nasi pedas yang terkenal di Bali ituloh, yang pedesnya enak dahsyat banget. Finallement, akhirnya keturutan makan nasi pedas senssional ini. 

Kita nyampe jam 2 siang dan leyeh leyeh ga jelas sampe jam 4 sore, ganti baju bentar terus jalan ke pantai. Katanya sih dari google jalan ke pantai cuma 10 menit dan ternyata hahaha 10 menit kalo naek motor wkwkkw. I have no problem buat jalan kaki, udah kebiasaan kemana mana pasti prefer jalan kaki (kecuali pas lagi di kota sendiri, kemana mana jadi super molor dan maunya naik motor terus). Mbothe, Sandy, dan Nobi udah mulai ricuh pas 20 menit jalan kaki...

"gak tekan-tekan seh rek...."

(translate: kok gak nyampe-nyampe sih..)

"Iki awakdewe wes balung tuwek..."

(translate: kita ini udah tuwirrrr...)

Aku mah cuma ketawa-ketawa aja, aku suka jalan kok :p pas udah nyampe di pantai Kuta, kita langsung duduk duduk melihat indahnya sunset. Dan aku pun langsung bertingkah ala ala bule, yaitu... cuma duduk dan gak ngapa ngapain. hahaha. Kalo yang lain pada sibuk moto sana sini, maenan aer dan lain lain, aku mah cuma duduk, pasang sunglasses biar kelihatan kece, dan moto moto sekitar sedikit trus duduk di atas pasir dan literally gak ngapa-ngapain. There is always a moment that I just wanna spend by doing nothing, kayak contohnya di pantai, aku bisa cuma sitting, atau lying and talking or reading some book. Hmm I love it.

Setelah hampir satu jam di pantai dan sunset udah mulai ngilang, kita jalan ke Kuta Beach Walk dan langsung mampir ke salah satu toko sandal ngehits, dan kita berempat beli sandal kembaran dengan warna beda-beda. It was super pricey for slippers, tapi yah gimana lagi, anak alay mah emang suka gitu :) . 

Pas selesei beli sendal, kita bingung mau makan apa buat dinner dan akhirnya mampir ke salah satu resto murah yang bisa dijumpai dimanapun diseluruh belahan Indonesia. Kita pesen beberapa makanan, aku pesen cordon bleu yang enak banget (soalna laper banget kali yak) dan yang lain pada pesen chinese food. Karena nasi gorengna porsi na banyak banget, akhirna minta dibungkus dan kita dapet free lunch box dari restonya (yang nantinya bakal dipake buat bekal pas kita traveling, hemat beb!)

Karena gak kuat jalan (walopun aku ngasik saran biar kita jalan aja supaya lebih hemat dan malah aku disuruh jalan pulang sendiri), akhirnya kita pesen taksi online dan bisa dibilang lumayan mahal dan malah gak jadi hemat hahaha.

Pas di hotel, kita udah setengah kecapean tapi masih sempet nonton The Kardashian. Dan dilanjutkan dengan diskusi diskusi penting yang mencakup perputaran roda dunia. Kita emang super awesome 2000.

Btw, nemu juga motto yang cocok buat kita berempat selama traveling, quoted from Hemingway :

“We ate well and cheaply and drank well and cheaply and slept well and warm together and loved each other” 

Cerita di Bali yang lain nanti berlanjut yah

....

 

Nikita and CuChi Tunnel Tour in HCMC

Y'ello folks!

It's almost 7 days to go to Eid Mubarak in 2017, Alhamdulillah I still do my fasting even though the weather is super hawt and I so want to eat ice cream in the mid of the day *no no, tak boleh!*

and now exactly at 11 pm, I am having this random thought about people or strangers whom I met during my travel. Some are my friend's friends, some are my friend's relatives, and some of them are totally stranger I met: on the train, on the plane, in the bus, on the road, etc.

I once told a brief story about meeting up with two strangers on a flight to Perth, one is a cute nerd Frenchie guy who studied Biology and the other one was an old guy whom suggested me to visit Mandurah (and I did!), and there are other rest I will talk about them later but for this chapter I will talk about a guy whom I met in the bus in Ho Chi Minh.

The story of a lonely blonde guy.

It was in February 2016, I visited HCMC with Rosita and we booked two tickets to Cu Chi Tunnel. We booked it in our travel agent in the ho(s)tel we stayed, pretty cheap for both of us as we were excited to join the tour to the post-vietnam war caves/tunnels!

At 7am in the morning, I wore my blue tank top and hot pants and ready to catch the bus. Rosita was prepared too, as she always wore her sneakers, and I forgot to bring my sneakers so I only wore my oxford shoes. Yes, oxford shoes. Rather too fancy to wear to have some adventure in Cu Chi Tunnel. While we were waiting for our bus, I was with two other German fellows whom I thought they would go to the tunnel as well, then nope, their destination was Hanoi (they took 16 hours van to Hanoi, crazy enough!).

Rosita and I were called by the bus driver then we hopped on. I didn't like to sit in the back so I sat in the second front row. Behind me, there was a skinny blonde guy, with glasses, looked like a nerd then smiled at me. I just smiled back, I didn't want to open the conversation as I was shy, so I'd better quiet. This blonde guy behind me seemed relax and alone and no one accompanied him whatsoever then I rather pitied. 

I looked outside the window, there were some other buses, passing by, and some random white guy looked at the opposite side and waved his hand and smiled at me. what? This Vietnam vibe probably a bit... in the mood for lust, hahha everyone seemed like in the mood to chuckle and flirt :p (or perhaps, being friendly?). Ten mins later, the guide, a young Vietnamese boy introduced himself and gave us instructions what to do's and dont's during our trip, and suddenly another guy jumped to our bus and sat close to this blonde guy, but he seemed reluctant as he saw a girl next to my seat sitting alone and he rather sat with that girl (oh boy is always be boy). I don't know why I was not that interested to his attitude but I admired a bit of his puzzle piece tattoo on his ankle (now you know how observant I am). When I was observing him (like a creep), he looked back at me and said, "Hi, good morning!" and I just replied, "good."

For about 20 minutes on the road, our bus stopped and five old couples jumped onto it. The funny thing is, the guide was kinda worried about the condition of the old couples so he asked us to move our seat, the blonde guy sat closed to the driver (he sat in the small and fragile seat) then Rosita and I moved to the back. We met with two girls, Jemma from Australia and Stacy from Phillipines. We talked a bit and mostly I was sleeping during the journey. We stopped in some craft shop and I was looking around a bit, but mostly I just needed the toilet. Our bus didn't start to move as we waited for one person whom hadn't entered our bus yet, and 15 minutes later.. there was that lonely blonde guy whom was the person! hahaha, he strolled very calmly and very innocent as he came into the bus. He'd not brought anything, just himself and small waist bag.

Finally, we arrived at Cu Chi Tunnel.

I jumped out from the bus and gave my high five to Rosita as somebody called me, "Hey, where are you from?"

I turned my head and it was that blonde guy who called me, "Oh I am from Indonesia, and you?"

"Oh Indonesia, I thought you were from Iran, haha. I am from Belarus"

"Belarus? Minsk?"

"Hey yeah, how do you know?"

 
"I am just guessing."

"and... Jakarta?"

"Nope, Surabaya. My name is Vera."

"Nikita."

"Gorbachev?"

"Hahaha, no, not that one" , he laughed and we had the friendly handshake .

Apparently, we belonged to the same group, he was quite adventurous as he tried almost any "challenges" in CuChi Tunnel. We tried the Vietcong's small hidden cave, and we went through it! omg, I couldn't really record the 'journey' that I did in the cave, it was pretty intense, super narrow and small cave and it was 100meters! so we needed to walk 100 meters in a dark and we almost couldn't breathe due to the lack of oxygen... it made me think how could the Vietcong soldiers survive in this kind of place? dayum.

I sweated a lot after getting passed through the tunnel. Nikita gave me high fives, and he started to ask me about stuff. He asked me about the muslim population in Indonesia as he was really interested in. I told him, I am a muslim and he suddenly asked me if I could speak Arabic. I said yeah, I am a passive Arabic, and in a sudden he tried to speak Arabic to me! what the heck?

I was super astonished. It was super cool to know that he could speak Arabic fluently. Then, he explained that he could speak 5 languages: Russian, English, Arabic, German, and Italian. He did his master in Parma, Italy and used to live in Jordania to master his Arabic. He was the man of culture, I thought so!

Our conversation was getting deeper as he questioned about my travel time and life in Indonesia particularly. In the bus, before we finished our trip, he asked me for a dinner together but I was too shy to say yes so we just said farewell without even exchange some contacts.

When I arrived at the hostel, I felt regretful a bit, it must have been a cool idea just to get to know some stranger and discuss and blabber about some deep shite about universe.

This story is dedicated to him, to Nikita, the Blonde Belarussian guy!
dude, wherever you are, I should have said yes to your offer and we could probably be bestfriend!    

 

Summer is coming!

y'ello folks! it's been so long i didn't write about good things happened to me lately ,

hahaha

perhaps i was too busy writing sad stories about myself then lamented and it felt like getting a huge punch on my nose .

August will be over soon, then september, then october, then november, then december, then voila 2017!

dayum, time flies so fast.

so many things happened in 2016, yer, i had still carried some baggage from the past, but let me clear all of them.

So,

it's like usual days, you are having good and bad times, met some morons, earned some extra money, but I feel so contented I have traveled to several countries so far for study and spent at least 2 weeks and made friend with some amazing people whom taught me about many things.

Though I took 3 years to finish my master.. yeah because I am lazy and big procrastinator , Thanks to Allah SWT, I got almost straight A's for all subjects, which somehow I almost don't believe in myself ... gosh, what the heck was I doing? LOL

I have been learning French for a year and half and now I am at pre-intermediate level! car rien ne gratuit dans la vie :) I am the laziest person in the class yet I got 'yeahprettysatisfying' score for my french. Je suis hereuse! I still need 2 more years to complete my lesson and master it since I know it's very beneficial for my future endeavors. 

what else... I made my first trip together along with my bestfriends to Solo, a lovely city close to Yogyakarta. It was a short trip but very meaningful for us and we really want to repeat it, hahaha we got a plan to visit Singapore or Tokyo together but we'll see.

Everyone loves my cooking! i never know it if I could cook sorta food this great *ahem*, I invited some friends to my house and I cooked some food for them and they liked it! some of my friends also started to create some culinary business and hell they cook better than me hahaha I should learn from them, 

I've already spent almost 70 dollars purchasing some 'rare' books: Orwell, Camus, Sartre, and Zizek!!! I am do happy I could find many books about those amazing authors (in INDONESIAN translation!), and this is summer , you will know what I am mostly likely doing: reading books, writing some stories about my traveling journey (I will post it asap, wait for it :D) or .... if I am very lazy, I'd probably be watching some movies.

Anyway, Happy Summer! Bon L'Été a tous!

xoxo

Does IQ test measure our intelligence?

y'ello folks!

it's been pretty long time since my last writing, well okay let's shoot to the point,

why would I really want to discuss about it, 

we might know that's it pretty arguable and debatable. does our IQ test really measure our intelligence? interesting!

I still remember my first IQ test when I was 11, I got 100, they said I am pretty 'normal' kid, not too bright, not too stupid. a total average.

It was an official test at my junior high school, we needed to answer some kind of questions, mostly pictures. For me, who is very imaginative, I tend to look out from another perspective. I thought this test was ridiculous, and I was pretty reluctant to answer so I just chose the answer mostly without thinking.

My second test was when I was 16, it was when I was at high school, I got 114. Wow? did I evolve much? ahahaha. I don't know, maybe it was because hm...?I put more effort to answer the questions, gladly know several tricks: "answering the questions to please the examiners"

 was it considered as tricks? hm, i don't really know, I guess so. 

My genius bestfriends , most of them, got IQ results more than 120,

I got two best dudes who got 122 and 125, yer they are both geniuses at science and math. 

Honestly, I am not that good at Science and Math, well, I am suck at it.

I tried to search some names who got higher IQ, and most of them are scientists: Newton, Bill Gates, Edison. I found Obama, Bill Clinton, and Bush IQ tests , i am not sure if it's legit or not, all of them got more than 120. except Newton, he got 190.

This kind of talk, I ever asked to my ex-boyfriend raphael, I was pretty ashamed that I told him I only got 114 when I was 16, and he told me his latest IQ test was 131. He studied law and he was not suck at Math. He told me he was not that popular nerd kid at high school but I am kinda sure he was bright.

Then he told me,

"well, Vera, actually it was not really measure how smart you are in general. My first test when I was kid is 111, then I got 118, 120, and the latest was 131. do you think it really measures?"

I am pretty sure IQ test does pay an important role on how we use our logic, but remember we also get EQ, and I had some EQ test before and showed that I am a natural-born leader, but not like a benevolent dictator, but more or less a good decision maker and sensible. 

Could I be a good leader without having higher IQ like Newton or Obama? hm, let's see then. No one can assure our future yet.

THE LOST THING

Do you know when you've lost something-like your favorite CD's or a set of keys (because you're too dumb to remember where you put it)-- and while you're looking for it, you come across something else you once missed but have long since forgotten?

Well, whatever it was, there was a point when you decided to stop searching, did actually decide to forget about it, maybe because it was no longer needed, or a new replacement was found. It is almost as it never existed in the first place, until that flash moment of rediscovery, you recognize those lost things again.

Everyone has one, an inventory of lost things waiting to be found. Yearning to be acknowledged for the worth they once held in your life.

I presume, this is where I belong. Among all your other lost things.

Like an old photograph pressed between the pages of a book. 

I hope you will find me and remember what I once meant to you.

a cup of bitter black coffee

"Without cafés and newspapers, it would be difficult to travel. Travel robs us of such refuge. we are completely on the surface of ourselves. But also, soul-sick, we restore to every being and every object its miraculous value. - Camus "

I never knew that the feeling came when you was standing still close to the building, waited for me.

I was nervous back then, it was our first meet-up, after a quite long 'separation'

A separated distance between you and I, Our bizarre "connection" and how easily I could trust you before I got to know you better.

I still remember when you wore that purple shirt, with your blonde hair and crooked smile.

You smiled at me and you said "Hey", and I said, "sorry, I was late" .

I was late because I had too much doubt, like what kind of outfit should I wear, Did I look pretty? 

I realized that it wasn't even a date but don't ask me why I felt in such a way.

Like any usual meeting, the first time I saw your blue eyes and noticed the way you talked (which was a bit uncanny, but in a good way) I listened to all your stories.

You even showed me your photobox picture that you took with your friends in January, nine months prior to your coming. I sipped a cup of coffee and you ordered a cup of hot tea. You were surprised when you knew I could stand for a bitter black coffee, Well, I thought you finally knew that I was a bit weird. I was astonished too, that we could chat much, as usual we did on the phone before you came. I felt the connection between us, I know it was strange. I was a little baffled too, was it something?

I bought you a box of patisseries, assuming that you were hungry when you went back in your hotel room near the airport. You said if I wanted to accompany you to move your "stuff" to your new apartment tomorrow. I said okay, I gladly to help you organizing your things for your new life here.

So, we spent the whole afternoon at the mall, we ate Udon, I dropped the chili powder and we laughed. Then we talked again with so many things I couldn't explain here all:  your hometown, your sister, your brothers, your nephew and niece, my friends, and sorta things about philosophical things in this capricious life.

I was afraid it was too fast, to pull you into my riddle mind, I was scared you wouldn't understand what I was blabbering about.

We went back home and I gave you my first hug. This palpable feeling that I couldn't describe, how it was that great to finally embrace you. 

I came to your new flat and you let me came into your door before you. You had already opened up your suitcase and barely tidied up your clothes.

I dated several guys before, you were the first guy who treated me like a "lady",  being a "ladies first", you even opened the taxi door for me, let me ate your drink and food first. Honestly, most guys didn't treat me like that on first date, strangely we didn't even on a date.  

Then, we laid on your bed, you laid on your bed with your feet stuck on the floor, so I said, "hey, this is your bed, just hop on here". You shook your head and chuckled, then I forced your feet to be on bed and finally you were next to me.

We made fun of people from the fifteenth floor, we laughed, we mocked, I even played your hair and our eyes met. Something was struck on my mind. I was mesmerized by your pale blue eyes which I was really fond of. We kissed. That was our first kiss and we both smiled. 

If you could say how it felt to kiss a new guy at the first time, it was like.. I don't know. Frightened, Elated, Ecstatic, I wanted to do it again but I was too ashamed, so I just said sorry. If you realized too that It felt so wrong, it felt so right.

You didn't say any words but smiled to me, and here came the silent. We stopped for a while and I could feel that your fingers touched my body. You embraced me, and I also did to you  like a little girl. We kissed again, and you eventually said words, "It feels so good". I presumed that my cheeks blushed red, and I couldn't even reply your statement. But I kissed you again.