Trips and Travels

Tampilkan postingan dengan label Philosophy. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Philosophy. Tampilkan semua postingan

Jumat, 10 Mei 2019

The Interpretation of Being Aloof

Hiya Love, I mean, Hiya Folks!
It's been almost a year I haven't written anything in my blog. I miss random writing, as I miss non-random writing, too. Believe me, I have been collecting motivation to write both academically and commercially. But, so far, it yields nothing.
I have been listing plenty of ideas, but what's the purpose of ideas? If you don't really have guts to make it work, thus, let's call it a beginning in a not so in the beginning of the year. It's April - May, and we know that in the northern hemisphere out there, the flowers are starting to blossom, the weather also starts to be friendly again (well, I reckon?).

As a matter of fact, I have just come back from my journey in Europe again, Le Voyage d'Hiver, for the second time. People often asked me, why do you come to our snowy hut instead of staying in your sommer maison in your homeland?
The more I step my feet to new places, the more I think of home. The meaning of home. What is home anyway? In these past years, I choose and try to learn also enjoy this lone time. Getting used to of being on my own, not that I don't need my close friends or family anymore. However, as an Extrovert, maybe I should try to challenge myself more and try to understand the meaning of being aloof.

Interpreting this aloofness.

Now that you should know, that I am not currently staying in my hometown anymore. I stayed in my hometown for couple of weeks, and started a new story in the city of culture. The thing that I never realize about this city is, it's very multicultural. I thought I got used to mingle and hang out with people from different countries and assumed that later when I mingle with my "own" folks would be easier. I was wrong, hopefully, I wasn't. Handling people from different backgrounds is quite "challenging" and "triggering". I have got a quite great position in this organization, and some people really test my capabilities. This is my pure sentiment and you can judge me anyway, but I feel that some people really dislike when somebody new comes and places in top position. Actually, I am trying to be a calm and kind leader, but some people really can trigger my benevolent side which I don't like it either. That's why, I prefer to be aloof. When I am aloof, everything can be well-digested. All this bad stereotypes and judgements which I have been trying to throw them away.

Good thing is...

I can value myself more, the more time I am being alone. I have got lots of time to study and sharpen my abilities, and realize how far I have grown. --- Some people are wrong about me, people change, I guess I know all about it. Managing and Handling students are way much easier than handling your own staff. Well, I am not working in a corporate but an organization that challenges my leadership a lot. I don't trust people easily, well, trusting people is my weakness. Many lesson that I have learnt made me realize that the one that you can trust and rely on is yourself. Is it okay being a lone wolf? is it okay being selfish? Yes, IT IS FINE. totally Fine. How can you blossom and develop if you don't trust your own guts? 

Learning how to love your own self.
After you learn how to trust yourself, now you can slowly learn how to love yourself. This sounds not so correctly, but this is pure of my personal opinion --- and of course after finishing The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. How will you be able to love someone if you are lack of love on your own? How can you transfer and retrieve the love itself when you got nothing to love about yourself. I think, love grows inside yours and when you think you are ready (and of course when you want it), you will slowly learn how to transfer the love within you: by treating your significant other (or just mere other people) with love.

So...
by being aloof, it teaches me how to love myself more. That I am my own priority. This also could be "the time when you discover your selfishness". You might criticize me, but this is my personal perspective, with my own capabilities as an Extrovert, in reserving this aloofness.


And.. Thank you.


Kamis, 25 Januari 2018

just my imagination

Y'ello folks..
jumpa lagi dengan saya kembali, setelah berbulan-bulan kagak nulis (kayak tiap bulan nulis ajeee), akhirna inilah postingan pertama saya di bulan Januari. Kali ini saya gak akan cerita soal perjalanan travelling sih, itu nanti saya simpan dulu buat kapan-kapan. Saya pengen ngablak cerita gak jelas gegara kebanyakan nonton film lawas sama video klip lagu-lagu lawas. Hahaha...

Saya sering ngebayangin jadi model di video klip gitu, hahaha, terlambat sudah cita-cita saya pengen jadi model majalah Trubus,  tapi kalian-kalian disini pasti pernah kan secara sadar walaupun nggak, pas waktu jalan sendirian di tempat yang indah, ketemu cowok cakep, atau pas waktu hujan ngadep ke jendela, rasanya berasa kehidupan kita ini punya backsound. Hahaha
Bisa jadi, film yang bikin saya jadi baper sebaper-baperna itu film Before Sunrise. Banyak yang bilang film ini ngebosenin dan ngomong doank. EH TAPI, saya nonton film ini 2x, dan menurut saya ini film sweet dan romantis. Gimana coba kamu bisa ketemuan di kereta sama cowok seganteng Ethan Hawke dan diajak muter-muter Vienna dalam jangka waktu 24jam dengan diisi macem conversation yang absurd tapi menanyakan ke-eksistensian diri kamu. Ah ini film apaan sih, kan aing jadi pengen sama Ethan  Hawke  'kan?

Kadang-kadang kalau lihat film romance yang edisi cinta-cintaan ala SMA atau high schoolers gitu, saya jadi pengen, agak jealous soalna saya dulu pas SMA kok gak ngerasain kayak gitu yak. Saya ada beberapa pacar waktu SMA, tapi kok rasanya gak kayak yang di film-film macem begituan. Perasaan yah dulu cuma ngobrol, makan, main ke mall, udah hahaha. Mau ngulang ke masa SMA biar mirip film She's All That kok yah hampir ora mungkin. Yasudahlah mari kita lupakan masa-masa SMA saya yang sangat super duper biasa dan most of the time cuma diisi sama buku dan series Gossip Girl.

Sebagai perempuan biyasah, saya kadang ngayal pengen ketemuan sama cowok cakep di Coffee Shop terus berlanjut di perbincangan gak jelas tentang filosofi atau kapan Indonesia bisa jadi negara adidaya. Atau misal tiba-tiba ketemu cowok ganteng bercelana gemes di Northern Italy terus kita muter-muter naik sepeda pas Summer. Saya gak terbiasa nulis diary, dan agakna mungkin saya ada beberapa yang lupa soal sensasi ketemu orang baru yang berpotensi bisa dijadikan rujukan film romance. 

Mostly saya gak ingat, tapi kalau yg esensial banget saya biasanya gak lupa. Saya gak lupa gimana saya ketemu cowok sesama traveler di bus di Saigon dan kita bisa klik satu sama lain tapi lupa tukeran nomer hape. Saya gak bisa lupa gimana sensasinya waktu itu jalan di Kuala Lumpur sama temen sekelas saya yang ganteng dan pinter dan orangnya agak suka dicolak-colek hahah. I don't think that I would like to go further with them, tapi saya suka aja ngerasain tingling feeling yang ngebuat saya ngerasa seperti maen di sebuah film komedi romantis. Saya kadang ndengerin lagu romantis/happy/sedih/upbeat, kadang joget sendiri dan kadang cuma diem meresapi dan mbayangin hal-hal indah yang pernah saya lalui sama orang -orang yang saya kenal.

Saya kira semua cewek pasti punya soundtracks atau backsound ketika bertemu dengan orang-orang tertentu. Apalagi pas kita lagi ngerasain certain feeling dan kebetulan misalnya, dengerin lagunya Shania Twain atau Daniel Beddingfield, langsung nyeletuk, "Ajib, lagu ma lirikna gue banget nih!" hahaha. Saya gak akan pernah bisa lupa sama orang-orang yg ngasik kesan atau backsound atau soundtrack buat kehidupan saya. Kadang kalau pas saya lagi jalan di tempat baru, saya langsung spontan nyanyi sendiri sambil bayangin orang yang cocok sama lagu dan tempat yang saya nyanyiin tersebut. Contohna saya waktu itu jalan-jalan di Paris, saya langsung nyanyi 'City of Stars' dari LaLaLand dan agak-agak bayangin saya jadi Emma Stone haha *dikeplak orang sekampung*. Saya orangna sebenerna pemalu kalau dideketin sama cowok ganteng, apalagi pinter, apalagi diajak ngobrolin soal hal-hal absurd, widih bisa-bisa waktu pulang kerumah saya bisa dengerin Chopin sama nulis puisi. Atau pas lagi travelling sendirian, saya kalau capek jalan selalu mampir ke cafe,duduk, pesen kopi  terus nulis puisi atau brainstorm topik buat dijadikan cerpen. Kayakna saya emang cocok hidup di jaman-jaman abad ke 17 di Paris, bergaul sama Moliere, atau hidup di jaman-jaman taun 40an bergaul sama Orwell di Paris/Barcelona, hahaha. Also, I pick all the soundtracks for every person I have known. Harusnya di Spotify, saya bikin album kreasi pribadi berdasarkan nama-nama orang yang memberi kesan buat saya, hahaha. Sometimes, I created several poems for certain people, too. Dipikir-pikir, saya ini kok sensitif amat yak *sigh*

P.S. Tulisan ini dibuat sambil dengerin Piano Music For Coffee Shop dari youtube, and I know now, some people are better to be remained only in our memories :)


Minggu, 05 Juni 2016

Does IQ test measure our intelligence?

y'ello folks!

it's been pretty long time since my last writing, well okay let's shoot to the point,
why would I really want to discuss about it, 
we might know that's it pretty arguable and debatable. does our IQ test really measure our intelligence? interesting!

I still remember my first IQ test when I was 11, I got 100, they said I am pretty 'normal' kid, not too bright, not too stupid. a total average.
It was an official test at my junior high school, we needed to answer some kind of questions, mostly pictures. For me, who is very imaginative, I tend to look out from another perspective. I thought this test was ridiculous, and I was pretty reluctant to answer so I just chose the answer mostly without thinking.

My second test was when I was 16, it was when I was at high school, I got 114. Wow? did I evolve much? ahahaha. I don't know, maybe it was because hm...?I put more effort to answer the questions, gladly know several tricks: "answering the questions to please the examiners"

 was it considered as tricks? hm, i don't really know, I guess so. 

My genius bestfriends , most of them, got IQ results more than 120,
I got two best dudes who got 122 and 125, yer they are both geniuses at science and math. 
Honestly, I am not that good at Science and Math, well, I am suck at it.
I tried to search some names who got higher IQ, and most of them are scientists: Newton, Bill Gates, Edison. I found Obama, Bill Clinton, and Bush IQ tests , i am not sure if it's legit or not, all of them got more than 120. except Newton, he got 190.

This kind of talk, I ever asked to my ex-boyfriend raphael, I was pretty ashamed that I told him I only got 114 when I was 16, and he told me his latest IQ test was 131. He studied law and he was not suck at Math. He told me he was not that popular nerd kid at high school but I am kinda sure he was bright.

Then he told me,
"well, Vera, actually it was not really measure how smart you are in general. My first test when I was kid is 111, then I got 118, 120, and the latest was 131. do you think it really measures?"

I am pretty sure IQ test does pay an important role on how we use our logic, but remember we also get EQ, and I had some EQ test before and showed that I am a natural-born leader, but not like a benevolent dictator, but more or less a good decision maker and sensible. 

Could I be a good leader without having higher IQ like Newton or Obama? hm, let's see then. No one can assure our future yet.

Rabu, 30 Desember 2015

je te pardonne

I don’t want to spend every day thinking of all the possible reasons to hate you just to make myself believe that I’m okay. Because I am not. I want to be okay, but it doesn’t mean I have to bring you down just to lift my spirits up. I want to be alright, be happy and contented with where I am and what I have now. I want to be the best version of myself. I want to regain the pieces of myself that I lost when I loved you too much. I want to be myself again.


I’m forgiving you because as early as now, I want to let you go.

We hurt each other and didn’t do anything good. We were in a toxic friendship that I fought to keep but we soon realized it wasn’t worth it. Now that we’ve come to our senses, this is the best time to continually go our separate ways. I’m letting you go and forgiving you for all the things you’ve done. And I’m forgiving myself for breaking the promise I told myself that I wouldn’t get hurt by the same person who broke me. I’m forgiving you because you deserve it. And I do too. We both deserve to be happy, maybe happier apart.


It takes a lot of courage to forgive but it takes a lot more to ask for forgiveness. And I’m asking you now to forgive me for asking too much. Forgive me for believing that it was all real. Forgive me for the idea that you felt the same way as I did.

I’m forgiving you because I love you and mainly because I love myself more. I want to be free of the toxic thoughts of you and the times that we were in uncertainty. I want to be free of the hatred, anger, and distrust. I want to start over with a heart of hope and peace of mind. I want to start over and get over you. I want to restart. I want to let go, move on and live on.


Life doesn’t stop when you run out of reasons to go on, it continues once you start finding reasons to look forward to. And I have found those reasons.
I’m forgiving you because I’ve realized that I should make peace with my mind, my own sanity. Because I love myself.

Kamis, 17 Desember 2015

The Friendship of Camus and Sartre

As maître of the mid-century French philosophical scene, Jean-Paul Sartre wielded some considerable influence in his home country and abroad. His celebrity did not prevent him from working under the editorship of his friend and fellow novelist, Albert Camus, however. Camus, the younger of the two and the more restless and unsettled, edited the French resistance newspaper Combat; Sartre wrote for the paper, and even served as its postwar correspondent in New York (where he met Herbert Hoover) in 1945. According to Simone de Beauvoir, the two became acquainted two years earlier at a production of Sartre’s The Flies. They were already mutual admirers from afar, Camus having reviewed Sartre’s work and Sartre having written glowingly of Camus’ The Stranger. Ronald Aronson, a scholar and biographer of the philosophers’ relationship, describes their first meeting below, quoting from de Beauvoir’s memoir The Prime of Life:

“[A] dark-skinned young man came up and introduced himself: it was Albert Camus.” His novel The Stranger, published a year earlier, was a literary sensation, and his philosophical essay The Myth of Sisyphus had appeared six months previously. [Camus] wanted to meet the increasingly well-known novelist and philosopher—and now playwright—whose fiction he had reviewed years earlier and who had just published a long article on Camus’s own books. It was a brief encounter. “I’m Camus,” he said. Sartre immediately “found him a most likeable personality.”
As the recently discovered letter above shows—from Camus to Sartre—the two were intimate friends as well as collaborators. Thought to have been written sometime between 1943 and 1948, the letter is familiar and candid. Camus opens with “My dear Sartre, I hope you and Castor [“the beaver,” Sartre’s nickname for de Beauvoir] are working a lot… let me know when you return and we will have a relaxed evening.” Aronson comments that the letter “shows that despite what some writers have said, Sartre and Camus had a close friendship.”
 
Aronson’s comment is understated. The querulous falling out of Sartre and Camus has acquired almost legendary status, with the two sometimes standing in for two divergent paths of French post-war philosophy. Where Sartre gravitated toward orthodox Marxism, and aligned his views with Stalin’s even in the face of the Soviet camps, Camus repudiated revolutionary violence and valorized the tragic struggle of the individual in 1951’s The Rebel, the work that allegedly incited their philosophical split. Andy Martin at the New York Times’ “The Stone” blog writes a concise summary of their intellectual and temperamental differences:
 
While Sartre after the war was more than ever a self-professed “writing machine,” Camus was increasingly graphophobic, haunted by a “disgust for all forms of public expression.” Sartre’s philosophy becomes sociological and structuralist in its binary emphasis. Camus, all alone, in the night, between continents, far away from everything, is already less the solemn “moralist” of legend (“the Saint,” Sartre called him), more a (pre-)post-structuralist in his greater concern and anxiety about language, his emphasis on difference and refusal to articulate a clear-cut theory: “I am too young to have a system,” he told one audience [in New York].
While Camus’ political disengagement and critique of Communist praxis in The Rebel may have precipitated the increasingly fractious relationship between the two men, there may have also been a personal disagreement over a mutual love interest named Wanda Kosakiewicz, whom both men pursued long before their split over ideas. 
Satre and Camus in New York
In December 1944, Albert Camus, then editor of Combat, the main newspaper of the French Resistance, made Jean-Paul Sartre an offer he couldn’t refuse: the job of American correspondent. Perhaps, in light of the perpetual tension and subsequent acrimonious split between the two men, he was glad to get him out of Paris. What is certain is that Sartre was delighted to go. He’d had enough of the austerities and hypocrisies of post-liberation France and had long fantasized about the United States. Camus himself would make the trip soon after, only to return with a characteristically different set of political, philosophical and personal impressions.

The Chrysler and Empire State buildings seemed to Sartre to be like ancient ruins.

In some sense, existentialism was going home. The “roots” of 20th-century French philosophy are canonically located on mainland Europe, in the fertile terrain of Hegel, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Husserl and Heidegger. But it was not entirely immune to the metaphysical turmoil of the United States at the end of the 19th century. French philosophy retained elements of the pragmatism of C.S. Peirce and the psychologism of William James (each receives an honorable mention in Sartre’s “Being and Nothingness”). More significantly, both Camus and Sartre had learned and borrowed from 20th-century writers like Faulkner, Hemingway and dos Passos —and, of course, from the films of Humphrey Bogart. Camus, in particular, cultivated the trench coat with the upturned collar and described himself as a mix of Bogart, Fernandel and a samurai.


When Sartre stepped off the plane in New York in January 1945, only months after the liberation of Paris, his head full of American movies, architecture and jazz, he might have expected to feel in his natural habitat — the pre-eminent philosopher of liberté setting foot in the land of freedom, a nation temperamentally and constitutionally addicted to liberty. Was there not already something of the existential cowboy and intellectual gunslinger in Sartre’s take-no-hostages attitude? Camus must have thought so in dispatching him to the United States. 


Albert Camus
Albert Camus


Sartre wrote dozens of articles for Combat while in the States, often phoning them back to Camus in Paris, and eventually went on to talk philosophy at Harvard, Princeton, Yale and elsewhere. In the process, he acquired an American girlfriend (about whom he wrote abundantly and explicitly to Simone de Beauvoir: “I am killed by passion and lectures.”). But the very personal article he wrote for Town & Country, “Manhattan: The Great American Desert,” records that he suffered on arrival from “le mal de New York.” He never really recovered.

Sartre, leaving the confines of the Plaza Hotel, walked up Fifth Avenue beneath a frozen sky, looking for New York, but not finding it. There was nothing on which to focus his gaze; it was a city for “the far-sighted,” he wrote, since the natural focal point was somewhere around infinity, over the horizon. He missed the intimate quartiers of Paris, finding in their place only “filmy atmospheres, longitudinally stretched masses with nothing to mark a beginning or end.” Just the kind of place, one might think, where an expatriate existentialist ought to fit right in. And yet he suffered stubbornly from a sense of disorientation. “In the numerical anonymity of roads and avenues, he wrote, “I am just anybody, anywhere.” New York put him in mind of the steppes or the pampas.

But soon enough he started to realize what his fundamental objection really was. The whole point of the city was to fortify itself against nature. But Manhattan failed to do that: an “open” city with a limitless sky above, it let nature in on every side. It was, of course, an island, and thus too exposed to the elements: to storm, hurricane, snow, heat, wind, floods. It had no real protection against anything. “I feel as though I were camping in the heart of a jungle crawling with insects.”` Therefore he learned to appreciate it only while crossing it in a car, as if he were “driving across the great plains of Andalusia.”


Jean-Paul Sartre
Jean-Paul Sartre


And just as he inverts the perception of the American city, so too Sartre turns the notion of American freedom inside out. By February, having been shuttled to and fro across the States, wined, dined and given propaganda tours to industrial installations, he comes to the conclusion in another article, written for Le Figaro, that America is the land of conformism. He finds that beneath its notional attachment to “individualism,” America does not actually trust the solitary individual. Despite the “liberal economy,” America is an embodiment of a Rousseauist “social contract” in which the general will of the “collectivity” dominates: “Each American is educated by other Americans and he educates others in turn. Everywhere in New York, in colleges and beyond, there are courses in Americanization.” Existentialist anomie is prohibited: America is hyper-normative, producing citizen clones. 

It is Sartre’s most powerful and recurrent complaint: that people are being treated as things. The “nausea” of the 1930s, elicited by pebbles and trees and ocean depths (and thus, as in New York, nature in general) morphed, in the ’40s and ’50s, into a specific aversion to the nonorganic products of economic forces. In America he understood that things (the “in-itself”), in all their massiveness, were threatening to reify the amorphous human (or “for-itself”) and produce what he called in a later formulation the “practico-inert.” 

Still, Sartre holds out the hope that New York is moving in a generally Sartrean and semi-apocalyptic direction. All those skyscrapers? Obviously, they are doomed. “They are already a bit run-down; tomorrow, perhaps, they will be torn down. In any case, their construction required a faith that we no longer have.” The Chrysler and the Empire State already appear to Sartre like ancient ruins. 

Camus — officially a cultural emissary of the French government — followed in Sartre’s footsteps in 1946, providing an ironic commentary on his predecessor. Where Sartre was obsessed with architecture, Camus was indifferent, oblivious. “I notice that I have not noticed the skyscrapers, they seemed to me perfectly natural.” He had no issues with commodity capitalism. He admired colors, foodstuffs, smells, taxis, tie shops, ice cream, the “orgy of violent lights” that was Broadway, a jazz bar in Harlem and the giant Camel advertising icon of “an American soldier, his mouth open, puffing out clouds of real smoke.” 

He fell in love several times over, notably with Patricia Blake, a 19-year-old student and Vogue apprentice. He read her pages from “The Plague” and she, in return, noting his fascination with the American way of death, found him issues of undertakers’ trade magazines — Sunnyside, Casket,and Embalmer’s Monthly. He particularly admired a funeral parlor ad: “You die. We do the rest.”

Camus had to keep explaining to American students that he never had been an ‘existentialist.’

At Vassar he gave a lecture on “The Crisis of Mankind” and was dazzled by the spectacle of “an army of long-legged young starlets, lazing on the lawn.” But he was preoccupied by what he thought of as the “American tragedy.” The tragedy of the students was that they lacked a sense of the tragic. For Sartre the tragic was the mechanization and objectification of the human. For Camus, the tragic was something more elusive: whatever it was, it was missing in America. 

There was an obvious difference of context between Camus and the students he was addressing. He’d come from Europe, which had just spent several years tearing itself apart, whereas they remained more or less physically untouched by the war. Camus was welcomed both as literary luminary (the translation of “The Outsider” came out during his stay) and Resistance hero. But his tragic perception of life was not reducible to the question of the Second World War. Sailing back from New York to France, at night in the middle of the Atlantic, staring down from the deck into the ocean, mesmerized by the wake of the ship, Camus spoke of his love for “these seas of forgetfulness, these unlimited silences that are like the enchantment of death.”



Camus, the Resistance philosopher of solidarity, discovered (or perhaps re-discovered) the problem of other minds in New York. Unlike Sartre, he had no difficulty with things, trees, the Empire State Building, the impersonal ocean. It was only on looking into the face of another human being that he fully experienced a sense of the tragic. While hell-is-other-people Sartre came to invoke a notion of the “group-in-fusion,” Camus — who had to keep explaining to the students that he was not and never had been an “existentialist” — increasingly redefined the “absurd” in terms of an inevitable failure of language to bridge the gap between individuals. And it was not just the problem of inadequate English in speaking to Americans. He had the same feeling in Quebec. 


The clash between Sartre and Camus would come to be defined by their political divergence in the ’50s, crystallized by the publication of “The Rebel” by Camus. But already, in their different reactions to the United States — and particularly New York — we have the ingredients of a philosophical schism. Sartre, on his return to Europe, recalls above all America’s racism and practice of segregation, the inevitable counterpart to its drive to conformity. He writes a play, “The Respectful Prostitute,” that dramatizes the episode of the Scottsboro Boys in the ’30s. The split between contending forces — East and West, black and white, bourgeoisie and proletariat, humans and things — becomes the defining concern of his philosophy, summarized in the (admittedly rebarbative) phrase he comes up with in his “Critique of Dialectical Reason” to define boxing, but which also applies to his relationship with Camus: “a binary praxis of antagonistic reciprocity.” Existentialism in this form, inflected with Marxism, infiltrates the American intelligentsia, is absorbed into black power philosophy (“black existentialism”) and finds an echo in writers as disparate as Richard Wright and Norman Mailer.

Camus, on the other hand, begins to sound more like Samuel Beckett. While Sartre after the war was more than ever a self-professed “writing machine,” Camus was increasingly graphophobic, haunted by a “disgust for all forms of public expression.” Sartre’s philosophy becomes sociological and structuralist in its binary emphasis. Camus, all alone, in the night, between continents, far away from everything, is already less the solemn “moralist” of legend (“the Saint,” Sartre called him), more a (pre-)post-structuralist in his greater concern and anxiety about language, his emphasis on difference and refusal to articulate a clear-cut theory: “I am too young to have a system,” he told one audience. And it is this anti-systematic aspect of America that he retains and refuses to clarify: “After so many months I know nothing about New York.”


Paradoxically, it is clear that Sartre took his notion of collective action from what he witnessed in the United States rather than in the Soviet Union. It is typical that he should choose to frame his notion of freedom and the fate of individual identity in essentially literary (or textual) terms. Beware the editor! He didn’t like the way his articles were butchered when they appeared in American journals and admits to being apprehensive of something similar — “le rewriting” — happening to his plays, should they ever be put on in the United States. The F.B.I., while accusing Camus of writing “inaccurate reports,” also misidentified him as “Canus” and “Corus.”
Sartre and Camus’s love-hate relationship was played out and reflected in their on-off romance with America. As Camus put it, “It is necessary to fall in love … if only to provide an alibi for all the random despair you are going to feel anyway.” Above all the two thinkers emphasize that America is always balanced precariously, like a tight-rope walker, on the thread of a philosophical dialectic.

Kafka's love letter to Felice

In November of 1912, three months after he met Felice, Kafka writes:

Fräulein Felice!
I am now going to ask you a favor which sounds quite crazy, and which I should regard as such, were I the one to receive the letter. It is also the very greatest test that even the kindest person could be put to. Well, this is it:
Write to me only once a week, so that your letter arrives on Sunday — for I cannot endure your daily letters, I am incapable of enduring them. For instance, I answer one of your letters, then lie in bed in apparent calm, but my heart beats through my entire body and is conscious only of you. I belong to you; there is really no other way of expressing it, and that is not strong enough. But for this very reason I don’t want to know what you are wearing; it confuses me so much that I cannot deal with life; and that’s why I don’t want to know that you are fond of me. If I did, how could I, fool that I am, go on sitting in my office, or here at home, instead of leaping onto a train with my eyes shut and opening them only when I am with you?
Whether out of self-protective rationalization or mere pragmatism — the onset of tuberculosis was, after all, what ended the relationship five years later — he plaintively points to a physiological reason, almost as an excuse for the psychological:

Oh, there is a sad, sad reason for not doing so. To make it short: My health is only just good enough for myself alone, not good enough for marriage, let alone fatherhood. Yet when I read your letter, I feel I could overlook even what cannot possibly be overlooked.
He resumes his plea, which seems directed more at himself than at her:

If only I had mailed Saturday’s letter, in which I implored you never to write to me again, and in which I gave a similar promise. Oh God, what prevented me from sending that letter? All would be well. But is a peaceful solution possible now? Would it help if we wrote to each other only once a week? No, if my suffering could be cured by such means it would not be serious. And already I foresee that I shan’t be able to endure even the Sunday letters. And so, to compensate for Saturday’s lost opportunity, I ask you with what energy remains to me at the end of this letter…
He closes in true Kafkaesque fashion:

If we value our lives, let us abandon it all… I am forever fettered to myself, that’s what I am, and that’s what I must try to live with.

Tesla: a certified psychic

This is one of the reasons why Nikolai Tesla, a Serbian genius,  was also a certified psychic :

“This struggle of the human female toward sex equality will end in a new sex order, with the female as superior. It is not in the shallow physical imitation of men that women will assert first their equality and later their superiority, but in the awakening of the intellect of women.” - Tesla in his interview 1926

And his prediction towards the future, oh well merely about our smart phone shit:

“When wireless is perfectly applied the whole earth will be converted into a huge brain, which in fact it is, all things being particles of a real and rhythmic whole. We shall be able to communicate with one another instantly, irrespective of distance. Not only this, but through television and telephony we shall see and hear one another as perfectly as though we were face to face, despite intervening distances of thousands of miles; and the instruments through which we shall be able to do his will be amazingly simple compared with our present telephone. A man will be able to carry one in his vest pocket.”

Damn you, Tesla!

Rabu, 02 Desember 2015

Moi

In the depth of winter 
I finally learned
that there was in me an invincible summer.

Albert Camus

Rabu, 25 November 2015

Riddle

I was just wondering how many people think about things that I always think everyday .
(well, yeah pretty rhetoric)

This afternoon, I drank many cups of coffee with a good friend and talked about Life.
Yeah, Life .
Pretty ironic and naive, see that we are just a mere human who got nothing (yet).

Is it wrong if we wanna talk about The World, in our perspective?
Call me a cynical, or narrow-minded, because my thoughts are rarely the same with the others.

Most girls in my age, often talk about marriage, kids, lovers.
Whilst, on my mind, I am worried about  Russian Jet that was downed by Turkish air force (25 November 2015, fact).

Girls love reading romances, with happy endings.
And I am consumed with Camus, Orwell, and Sartre and their poignant views. Maybe I have read too much information, and I still feel like a fool.
As my good friend, Tegar, said "the more you read, the more you suffer"

In another world, Girls love posting their pics with their lovers, with blabbering captions, wise words made by them or stole it from Google yet I only post pictures about stray cats.

I am afraid of World War III.
I am scared that most people are controlled by media.
I gave up when I knew about the fact that we cannot live on Mars.

Some said that I am too complicated. I think too much, too far.
And I hate reading bad comments and shallow views of people who think they know everything.

All my discussions with best friends mostly end up with questioning ourselves, "what are we talking about? are we aliens? are we normal?"

And I realize that, It is not you. It is me.

and I asked myself, "what is being normal anyway?"
Is it that to live a life like most of people do: being born, study, work, married, kids, being rich?
Or being one step richer , or smarter, or more "sophisticated" among your friends?

Is it too cliche if I say, "I wanna change the world, I wanna change my nation"
On the other hand, I am still stupid, lazy, don't have lots of money yet.
Maybe, that's why,  I have been thinking that I am gonna change myself first , will start from little things.

I am gonna be more on time.
I will not litter on road.
I will be a good listener, don't give unnecessary suggestion  before the speaker asks about it.
I will phone my parents more often.
I will start wake up in early morning again, like I did before (hmm.. even on weekends *crossfinger)
I will learn cooking, even that is not my thing.
I will help people without thinking for returns, even just their smiles.
and what else... (I am still thinking about it).

Perhaps, I am weird, I don't know how weird I am, 
Then I can only assume that each person has their own uniqueness. And who are you to judge?
well, even you, can't judge me too :)

Sometimes, I feel that not many people could understand me.
It feels like I speak riddles and rhymes only few people know.
If I am honest about everything, I am afraid that they would think that I am insane, and as an ordinary human, I am frightened of rejection and humiliation, and being insulted could hurt my feelings, too.

Well, I do apologize if I am being sensitive tonight.
I blame the coffee.



Jumat, 13 November 2015

oooo

Maybe these topics: The current Muslim trends and perspectives on feminism. Within Islam and in pluralistic contexts, how do commitments to feminism, personal religious practice, and pluralism work together? How are they in tension?  What are the common stereo-type threats of Muslim women and how do Muslim women approach traditional interpretations of their roles? Can a Muslim woman remain faithful to her tradition while embracing a feminist worldview? Join us in this intriguing conversation as we unveil the many facets to understanding Postmodern Muslim Feminism.

Rabu, 04 Juni 2014

love

I was just wondering why..

coincidence really does exist.

Yesterday i met them. Today i meet you. Or probably tomorrow i would meet someone who is much more interesting than all people I have ever known.

Let us think that how many people that actually do not give a fucking care about you anymore. How many people that you know as "ex-best friends", "ex-boy/girlfriend", or any "ex- whatever" you might call it.

Universe sometimes gives you a tricky game to play, also gives you playful people to frolic with.

Have you ever thought about how many opportunities will you get everyday to just meet some new people?

then you hang out with them, go to the beach together, seeing the ships at the south pier, drink coffee together, talk with them on a silly video call, texting, gossiping, tell your dirty little secrets,

you really get to know to each other.

On their birthday, you give them sweet present. When you are bored, happy, sad, or have some unimportant news, they are on your top list to share with.

you are attached to them. And you think they would feel the same way as you do.

Your life has changed. You are happy because you are surrounded by them.

On the contrary, somehow, people change. You don't exactly know why they have changed. You keep thinking, why oh why, they become so strange like you don't know them anymore. They hold back, or maybe it's you who is back off. Well, most of us were not born as a good mind-reader, therefore, we keep asking then blaming ourselves for what we did. Although, you don't know what you actually did which make them totally avoid you.

Shit happens, dude. First, we know them as a stranger or acquaintance. Next, we grow something up that we could call it "friendship", "relationship", "partnership" and sometimes, some people feel that those "-ship" terms jeopardize them. Perhaps, they are just afraid, they hesitate, or they are just unmotivated and can't see what is good about these "-ship" (s) anymore.

The result is they don't want to have fun with you anymore.
No reason, no saying any words.
Worst case, they delete you on any social networks.

But, you still keep their contact numbers, their emails, their address, sometimes you send them messages telling that you miss them and hoping that someday they will come back to see you.
Just so you know, only time will tell about it.

Do not worry, there are still some people who will always by your side, no matter what. Those people are pointless, maybe, because they don't know either why they still keep you, talk with you, hang out with you, kiss you, hug you, support you. They don't have any particular reason why they are happy to get along with you even most of time you make mistakes.

well, love is something that you cannot easily decipher.